I wonder if it is ideal to stay in my home with my parents once I am married. As the only son and raised in a somewhat confused family (at times my parents can be liberal and at other times, they are very conservative), it is important to accompany and take care of my parents since they will be very lonely. Yes, they have a golden retriever and a maid but it is different.
Anyway, I know my dad loves my sister more. It has always been the case. Which is why I resigned to the fact that if there is anything that involves her interests (despite how it is more important to me), I can forget about it. She is the firstborn in every sense of the word and because of this, I have problems communicating with my dad. Everything seems superficial nowadays when I talk to him and I learn to give in after years of rebellion and defiance. I can only bear in silence and ask for patience and tolerance while similarly asking Him to teach me how to love my father as how the Father in heaven loves me. I can only hope someday I can the love message of Christ to him. Which is why it is crucial for me to stay and work on my relationship with him.
As for my mom, I know she loves me but she is a very faithful and submissive wife. I guess my dad is a very lucky man to have married mom because she loves him unconditionally. Which is why as a son, at times I know I cannot count on mom to support my views when it touches on the struggle between sis and me.
On economics perspective, having my parents around would be good when I start a family. They can assist us to look after the young ones when both my future wife and I are working but somehow, I doubt my parents will be ready with this added responsibility. Mom has worked all her life and I doubt she is prepared to settle for taking care of grandchildren.
The thing is, I have a chance to move out now. If I move out, I can have my own privacy away from my parents with my future wife. Besides that, the house I bought is in the city whereas where my parents house is, it is very far away from Kuala Lumpur. Just in case you wonder why I don't disclose it, my dad is one of those conservatives type that don't believe in disclosing private information in public and made me vowed to not do so. I agreed... for now.
I guess life is never really simple. If only I have the answers. But since relationships are never easy, I just have to learn to handle it come what may. Sigh...
7 comments:
looks like every family has a story. well, if you ask me... i think moving out if the way forward.
Move out lah, I want to move out also cannot. You have a chance, so do it!
dear zewt,
i guess change only comes when it is my turn i.e. when my kids decide to have their own lives. i don't have the heart to leave them. but for how long i am not sure since the state of this country somehow tells us that we should move elsewhere as we are not welcomed in our own land.
I suggest to move out. Reasons are simple - privacy, independence and freedom. Fulfill your duties as a son by visiting them often for dinners/gatherings, and keeping in touch via phone.
Ken
dear ken,
i would love to do that but somehow, i can sense their loneliness as they age. i can't bring myself to leave them be... sigh... yet, the struggles within my family... sometimes i wonder is it me who is being a drama queen?
Treasure what you have my friend.
I too sense the loneliness of my parent and sometimes I keep asking myself whether I made the right choice to move to KL, especially 2 years ago ...
i have the best of both worlds.
i'm still staying with my parents, and i have my own place. it's kinda like a weekend home for me to chill.
however, it's an option whilst bujang, but not practical if you have kids to bundle here and there.
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