When it comes to weekends and public holidays, I just want to sleep for hours, laze in the house and read my books. Of course, not forgetting surfing the net and reading the news (or watching anime...:P). So, when my wife "volunteered" to send strangers to a sleepy town up north one fine day about a month or two ago, I knew it will fall upon me to drive them up north and back.
"So which weekend would you be free?" she asked.
Apprehensive and realised how my weekends will rush by quickly (but bearing in mind the role of a supportive husband), I could only accept it by telling her, "Oh well, we can go during Merdeka holidays. I don't need to take extra leave." Sigh, I wish I had.
I am not into volunteering but my wife, out of her good heart, wanted to help a stranger and a family (let's call it family X) resolve some outstanding issues that surrounded the death of a beloved member of family X. You see, this person died from suffering a very horrible disease, which in the minds of many, are commonly transmitted via sexual intercourse. And this person came from a very conservative community which frown upon anything that suggest promiscuity.
Source: http://www.daylife.com/photo/0dNl31U4tcaPF
The sister of the deceased, couldn't understand why her brother, a very pious and mild mannered person, would turn into that sort of person. To her, she wanted to know more what has caused her brother to transform to something which she never believes he has changed to (as her family, out of shame, left the community in haste because of what has transpired) while for the overseas stranger (let's call him Mr D), he was guilt ridden and felt responsible somewhat for being unable to extend help in his friend's time of need.
My wife told me that Mr D was on anti-depression pills for almost 7 years now, in part caused by this heavy guilt burden. At the suggestion of his physician, Mr D mission is to seek peace and relief by meeting and spending time with the deceased family while visitng the grave of the deceased.
Anyway, things weren't smooth to begin with. The person we were picking up is from overseas and he is old and forgetful. We spent about 1.5 hours in KL Sentral panicking on Thursday night wondering if he was lost. We found out later he had problems getting his luggage.
While I was busy with work on Friday afternoon, it was a tense moment for Mr D, the deceased's sister and my wife (she is a translator of sort). Mr D revealed some shocking revelation about how the deceased was traumatised when he was young and it has affected him much. Uncertain of what to do and in wanting to provide justice to the deceased, his sister wanted to return to the village and ask Mr D to reveal what he knows to all of them (this plan was later aborted as it was too sensitive). But meanwhile, they charted the course to travel and of course, if falls upon me, the driver to drive them back and forth.
On the eve of 51st Merdeka morning, we started our journey up north. It was a hot day and a long drive and by the time we reach Ipoh, dark clouds are seen looming over the horizon. I told Mr D we are only midway and I am worried it might rain. Anyway, it did but that's after we visited the graveyard.
At the graveyard, Mr D took a few photos while the deceased's sister cried She lamented that the plant she planted at her brother's grave was bent. She said it it God's sign that the deceased has sinned greatly. I didn't say much. It is afterall, a tense moment for a person seeking peace while another showing remorse and helplessness. Mr D stayed behind a while longer to perhaps say his peace.
Thereafter, we visited the deceased's ancestral home, now in ruins. The deceased's sister recollected the yesteryears, where the deceased had to walk long distance to school and back and the roads were once dusty (though now it is filled with gravels rather than asphalt). She also showed us the river, where they once bath and sourced for water and their durian trees which produced such good fruits that the local chinese grocer booked their fruits upfront. (We later found out her eldest brother sold their ancestral land and we were then technically trespassing).
Source: http://www.picturecorrect.com/wallpaper/sunsets.htm
On Merdeka day, we decided to visit the deceased's adopted father on our way back. The deceased's sister told us that the deceased spent his last days in that house before being hospitalised. The deceased's sister mentioned that the deceased was adopted when he was 12 because her family couldn't provide the necessary to realise his potential as he is the most intelligent child in the family.
Anyway, Mr D shared how at the last week prior to the deceased entering into coma (which he only woke up for a minute or so before he passed on), he received a call from the deceased to inform Mr D he was dying. Mr D was shocked and he felt helpless because he thought it was rather bazarre things like this could happen. They didn't talk much as the deceased was very ill.
Mr D then said that two days later, the deceased called again, this time, seeking Mr D's help. Mr D was reluctant to help in part because he felt the money spent would be wasted and Mr D was not in a good financial position. Mr D was also in a hurry to drive his parents to another town to attend his brother's wedding. By the time he got back, he had a voice recording informing him that the deceased had passed away. He was devastated and felt remorseful.
As he relates his story, tears began to wallow in his eyes.
The adopted father then said that Mr D shouldn't be too emotionally remorseful because the hour of death is appointed by God. Whether Mr D could have relieved his suffering by sending financial aid is no longer important as the deceased is no longer around. He told Mr D to make peace with this fact and just move on. Mr D then, quite unexpectedly, gave the deceased's sister a hug.
Well with that, it was over. It was time to go back. It is weird really now that I think back. It rained as we left the graveyard, stopped when we trespassed on their former ancetral land and rained when we were just about to get unto the car. Mr D must have found forgiveness that day as he seemed to be in a jovial mood as we slowly drive our way back to KL.
P.S. This is one of those stories where I can't reveal names or places (hence no pics eventhough I took a number of it.)
"So which weekend would you be free?" she asked.
Apprehensive and realised how my weekends will rush by quickly (but bearing in mind the role of a supportive husband), I could only accept it by telling her, "Oh well, we can go during Merdeka holidays. I don't need to take extra leave." Sigh, I wish I had.
I am not into volunteering but my wife, out of her good heart, wanted to help a stranger and a family (let's call it family X) resolve some outstanding issues that surrounded the death of a beloved member of family X. You see, this person died from suffering a very horrible disease, which in the minds of many, are commonly transmitted via sexual intercourse. And this person came from a very conservative community which frown upon anything that suggest promiscuity.
Source: http://www.daylife.com/photo/0dNl31U4tcaPFThe sister of the deceased, couldn't understand why her brother, a very pious and mild mannered person, would turn into that sort of person. To her, she wanted to know more what has caused her brother to transform to something which she never believes he has changed to (as her family, out of shame, left the community in haste because of what has transpired) while for the overseas stranger (let's call him Mr D), he was guilt ridden and felt responsible somewhat for being unable to extend help in his friend's time of need.
My wife told me that Mr D was on anti-depression pills for almost 7 years now, in part caused by this heavy guilt burden. At the suggestion of his physician, Mr D mission is to seek peace and relief by meeting and spending time with the deceased family while visitng the grave of the deceased.
Anyway, things weren't smooth to begin with. The person we were picking up is from overseas and he is old and forgetful. We spent about 1.5 hours in KL Sentral panicking on Thursday night wondering if he was lost. We found out later he had problems getting his luggage.
While I was busy with work on Friday afternoon, it was a tense moment for Mr D, the deceased's sister and my wife (she is a translator of sort). Mr D revealed some shocking revelation about how the deceased was traumatised when he was young and it has affected him much. Uncertain of what to do and in wanting to provide justice to the deceased, his sister wanted to return to the village and ask Mr D to reveal what he knows to all of them (this plan was later aborted as it was too sensitive). But meanwhile, they charted the course to travel and of course, if falls upon me, the driver to drive them back and forth.
On the eve of 51st Merdeka morning, we started our journey up north. It was a hot day and a long drive and by the time we reach Ipoh, dark clouds are seen looming over the horizon. I told Mr D we are only midway and I am worried it might rain. Anyway, it did but that's after we visited the graveyard.
At the graveyard, Mr D took a few photos while the deceased's sister cried She lamented that the plant she planted at her brother's grave was bent. She said it it God's sign that the deceased has sinned greatly. I didn't say much. It is afterall, a tense moment for a person seeking peace while another showing remorse and helplessness. Mr D stayed behind a while longer to perhaps say his peace.
Thereafter, we visited the deceased's ancestral home, now in ruins. The deceased's sister recollected the yesteryears, where the deceased had to walk long distance to school and back and the roads were once dusty (though now it is filled with gravels rather than asphalt). She also showed us the river, where they once bath and sourced for water and their durian trees which produced such good fruits that the local chinese grocer booked their fruits upfront. (We later found out her eldest brother sold their ancestral land and we were then technically trespassing).
Source: http://www.picturecorrect.com/wallpaper/sunsets.htmOn Merdeka day, we decided to visit the deceased's adopted father on our way back. The deceased's sister told us that the deceased spent his last days in that house before being hospitalised. The deceased's sister mentioned that the deceased was adopted when he was 12 because her family couldn't provide the necessary to realise his potential as he is the most intelligent child in the family.
Anyway, Mr D shared how at the last week prior to the deceased entering into coma (which he only woke up for a minute or so before he passed on), he received a call from the deceased to inform Mr D he was dying. Mr D was shocked and he felt helpless because he thought it was rather bazarre things like this could happen. They didn't talk much as the deceased was very ill.
Mr D then said that two days later, the deceased called again, this time, seeking Mr D's help. Mr D was reluctant to help in part because he felt the money spent would be wasted and Mr D was not in a good financial position. Mr D was also in a hurry to drive his parents to another town to attend his brother's wedding. By the time he got back, he had a voice recording informing him that the deceased had passed away. He was devastated and felt remorseful.
As he relates his story, tears began to wallow in his eyes.
The adopted father then said that Mr D shouldn't be too emotionally remorseful because the hour of death is appointed by God. Whether Mr D could have relieved his suffering by sending financial aid is no longer important as the deceased is no longer around. He told Mr D to make peace with this fact and just move on. Mr D then, quite unexpectedly, gave the deceased's sister a hug.
Well with that, it was over. It was time to go back. It is weird really now that I think back. It rained as we left the graveyard, stopped when we trespassed on their former ancetral land and rained when we were just about to get unto the car. Mr D must have found forgiveness that day as he seemed to be in a jovial mood as we slowly drive our way back to KL.
P.S. This is one of those stories where I can't reveal names or places (hence no pics eventhough I took a number of it.)
4 comments:
Wah!!! Very the messy. Have to read a couple of times to understand a bit more. :)
We all have some sort of plans huh during merdeka long holiday.
Dear seaqueen,
Sorry la. It is complicated because I have to blur some facts and yes, it could be written better...:P
anti depression pills... hehehe...
Dear zewt,
Seriously, this person takes anti-depression pills. I can see the long term effects on his mental state as well. Better to recover now and stop taking those pills.
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