I called my friend recently to catch up on things since it has been awhile since we last talked. We used to be quite close and shared many common topics but as time went by, we sort of drifted apart as we went on with our own lives. I was taken aback when she told me something I least expected.
"I had a child," she said.
"A child? What? When were you pregnant? You should have told me about it." I replied.
"Oh no. I adopted a child."
Source: http://chrismiles.info/baby1.0/Well, that is a very big step I must say. She is actually still single and living alone. In fact, I am not just taken aback, I felt disturbed. Isn't it usually difficult for someone who is single to adopt a child? So I pressed for more details. Apparently, the child is not adopted by her but by her brother and sister-in-law. What she only did was she donated money to that organisation.
"So in other words you didn't adopt right? You just paid the money. Afterall, you did say your sister-in-law will be taking care of that 1 week old child."
"No, no. I am the one adopting because I paid for it."
Well, to my dear friend, I explained to her that she technically didn't adopt a child since it is not registered under her name and I told her just a child is not a pet or property. It is another cognizant life in development. This is further strengthen by the fact that she is not even taking care of the baby (which she conveniently pass on to her sister-in-law). She is, to me, merely acting as a loving aunt happy to have a new nephew/niece. Well, she would have none of that. She is quite adamant when the child grows older, she will take care of that child and expects the child to address her as mom. Just that for now, her sister-in-law cares for that child since she is occupied with work and career.
I find it very noble of her to take an unwanted child into her care. The child certainly didn't ask to be born into this world. According to my friend, this particular organisation was set up to address the problem of unwanted pregnancies. Rather than letting women unprepared with pregnancies go round undergoing illegal abortions, this organisation encourages women with unwanted pregnancies to give birth and put their babies up for adoption.
Yup, she is very brave. Even as I am about to enter the next stage of my life, I am still unprepared to have children. As for my single friend, her child receives not just love from her, but also love, nurture and care from her brother and sister-in-law. I am quite sure even if my friend later on in somehow shirk from taking on this responsibility (which I strongly doubt it), her brother and sister-in-law are well prepared to take care of this child since they themselves have quite a number of kids.
I wonder at times why would people choose to abort unwanted pregnancies when in their wombs are lives of unborn people which develops very much on its own. Of course, I am not talking about those who were raped. I pity them and I only hope these people will not abort the child though if they choose to do so, I have little to say about it. But for those who decided to have a bit of indiscretion and added fun in their lives, isn't it quite inhumane of them to kill a gift of God when they reap what they sow? Have they considered that the unborn child didn't ask for all this to happen?
Some would admit it is their mistake but they don't want to go through the hassle of undergoing the whole 9 months process out of fear of hurting their pride/losing face when asked by family, friends or strangers, that the pregnant stands in the way of their career paths, or they are just not ready be it economically, physically or psychologically. To be frank, I don't buy these arguments. But I can't stop people from being selfish. They are afterall just not ready to share their lives with others especially the ones they should be responsible for.
If only they realise how many couples out there who wants to have a child and remain barren till this day. But this of course rings hallow for people who can't see pass their own noses.
I have another friend who realised she is pregnant in less than 3 months into her marriage when she planned not to have kids until her 3rd marriage anniversary because of her career plans. She has since happily given birth to a baby girl. She placed her career plans on hold and decided to put as much attention as possible into nurturing her child. To her, I say, "Bravo!"
My other friend has a good suggestion to those who don't want to throw away the baby with the water. Just use a condom is her motto.
I on the other hand prefer the old fashion route i.e. abstinence.
"So in other words you didn't adopt right? You just paid the money. Afterall, you did say your sister-in-law will be taking care of that 1 week old child."
"No, no. I am the one adopting because I paid for it."
Well, to my dear friend, I explained to her that she technically didn't adopt a child since it is not registered under her name and I told her just a child is not a pet or property. It is another cognizant life in development. This is further strengthen by the fact that she is not even taking care of the baby (which she conveniently pass on to her sister-in-law). She is, to me, merely acting as a loving aunt happy to have a new nephew/niece. Well, she would have none of that. She is quite adamant when the child grows older, she will take care of that child and expects the child to address her as mom. Just that for now, her sister-in-law cares for that child since she is occupied with work and career.
I find it very noble of her to take an unwanted child into her care. The child certainly didn't ask to be born into this world. According to my friend, this particular organisation was set up to address the problem of unwanted pregnancies. Rather than letting women unprepared with pregnancies go round undergoing illegal abortions, this organisation encourages women with unwanted pregnancies to give birth and put their babies up for adoption.
Yup, she is very brave. Even as I am about to enter the next stage of my life, I am still unprepared to have children. As for my single friend, her child receives not just love from her, but also love, nurture and care from her brother and sister-in-law. I am quite sure even if my friend later on in somehow shirk from taking on this responsibility (which I strongly doubt it), her brother and sister-in-law are well prepared to take care of this child since they themselves have quite a number of kids.
I wonder at times why would people choose to abort unwanted pregnancies when in their wombs are lives of unborn people which develops very much on its own. Of course, I am not talking about those who were raped. I pity them and I only hope these people will not abort the child though if they choose to do so, I have little to say about it. But for those who decided to have a bit of indiscretion and added fun in their lives, isn't it quite inhumane of them to kill a gift of God when they reap what they sow? Have they considered that the unborn child didn't ask for all this to happen?
Some would admit it is their mistake but they don't want to go through the hassle of undergoing the whole 9 months process out of fear of hurting their pride/losing face when asked by family, friends or strangers, that the pregnant stands in the way of their career paths, or they are just not ready be it economically, physically or psychologically. To be frank, I don't buy these arguments. But I can't stop people from being selfish. They are afterall just not ready to share their lives with others especially the ones they should be responsible for.
If only they realise how many couples out there who wants to have a child and remain barren till this day. But this of course rings hallow for people who can't see pass their own noses.
I have another friend who realised she is pregnant in less than 3 months into her marriage when she planned not to have kids until her 3rd marriage anniversary because of her career plans. She has since happily given birth to a baby girl. She placed her career plans on hold and decided to put as much attention as possible into nurturing her child. To her, I say, "Bravo!"
My other friend has a good suggestion to those who don't want to throw away the baby with the water. Just use a condom is her motto.
I on the other hand prefer the old fashion route i.e. abstinence.
2 comments:
Once again, you surprised me with comments that I thought could never come out from a man's mouth. The holy Abstinence! Em, if I don't know you any better, you could have passed off as a strict Catholic.
Dear lyl,
Why are you surprised? Hmmm....
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