The Big Delivery Day (Part 2)

What a busy week indeed. I have to do so many things at such little time left. Which is why, spending late nights clearing the room while working during daytime rushing reports. Not only do I have to clean my room, I have to also listen to wedding dinner song selection, messaging and calling people to RSVP their attendance, liaising with caterers, florists and such, and so on and on. I seriously don't recommend to any couples intending to get married to be gung ho by organising their own wedding.

In a few more days, I would be deemed, under the Chinese custom, to be a full fledged adult. Yup, in Chinese custom, even if you are 60 years old and you have yet to get married, you don't enjoy the recognition you are a full fledged adult. It is like a certain duty only an adult can do has not been fulfilled and hence you are kind of kidding yourself as you carry on living without a spouse.

Anyway, I decided to attached the photos of stuff I gotten as part of the gift exchange from the groom's family.

The infamous virgin declaration item : Roast pig (viewed from the rear)

The infamous virgin declaration item : Roast pig (viewed from the front)

The one thing you need to note next is that what is behind the red paper. Now one would think it is a whole pig, but...

The middle part is missing!

Actually, it is missing because the bride's family took it. You see, the groom side offers to the bride's family the whole pig but usually they will return the head and the rear of the pig. As they said it in Cantonese, "Yaw Tau Yaw Mei" which basically means all that begins well ends well or completeness in short.


As part of the gift exchange, you will notice two coconuts in a basket. Well, the coconuts are supposed to signify the wishes of the bride's family that the new couple will have lots of descendants. You see, in the olden days and in an agricultural society, manpower is greatly needed to farm the land and what better workforce to exploit if it is not your own? Also, since the old economy do not provide social security/welfare net and most people are poor, it makes sense to share the burden to care for the elderly among lots of children. Oh well, that is how I look at it because nowadays, Chinese in Malaysia only wants to raise quality children hence you will find a lot of Chinese couples only have 1 child or 2 children. Given the fact that we have EPF, retirement planning and such, more and more people are opting to just enjoy their retirement without much support from their children. Hmmm....


This nice basket is actually for the bride. It just serves as a container to carry fruits and such. I guess in the olden days, a married woman need a basket like how power executives today need a briefcase. The dutiful daughter-in-law will go out to market and buy raw food to cook or bring lunches to the family busy working the farm. Over the yearly, nicer design are added to the basket like this one here. I really like this basket but other than its aesthetic value, it is as useful as a plastic bag. Perhaps with changing times like our environmental concern, it might make a comeback. Or not because it is too heavy for those well lotioned smooth and fair hands. Hmmm...

Another thing that the bride's family send back as gifts in preparation for the bride to be a dutiful wife and daughter-in-law is the sewing kit set (as you can see at bottom right). In the olden days before women today demand for equal rights and complain about the glass ceiling, their role in a household is quite limited. They do mostly household chores while the men are expected to toil the fields. Of course in reality, women also toil the soil if there aren't enough people in the family so some women are lucky if they are restricted to only household chores. The downside is they usually have a tough mother-in-law/dragon lady supervising them. Giving them a set of sewing kit is the wishes of the groom's family that their well trained daughter will be able to perform her assigned roles with no problems.

This basket represents another wishes from the bride's family that she will have a good life in the groom's family. Given the amount of famine and droughts we often watch in TVB series in the past when they depict the hard life of farmers, this only makes sense because the bride knows nuts about the groom's family as she usually only knows them when she is married off (yes, olden days marriage are all arranged by parents). Also, the act of divorcing is very lopsided where only the husband can divorce his wife and NOT vice versa. So, women today should be thankful they CAN divorce their unfaithful husbands and work on their own without fear of retribution unlike in the past.

Last but not least, are the washing basin, spitting urn and bath tub. The spitting urn doubles as a toilet training container for future young babies aged from 1 to 2 years old.

In many ways, over the years, practices and customs which turned into tradition and superstitions closely associated with these gifts but it remains, at the core, well wishes from both families that the young couple have a good head start in raising a family. I will not dwell too much on those customs until later when I have more photos. Till then, it is back to table seating arrangement. Sigh...

The Big Delivery Day

The big delivery day arrived yesterday and I had to drive a couple of stuff over to bride's family as part of the gift and dowry practice handed down over thousands of years. Apparently, different clan groups will send different things so being a Hainanese, we aren't as elaborated as the Hokkiens when it comes to delivering goods.

As a matter of practice, nowadays, we replace most of these dowry with angpow. If you can't get the four types of seafood, just replace with money. If you can't get the two bottle of hard liquor, just replace with money. Yup, this speaks volume considering how modern Chinese culture has evolved over the years. If there is one thing I have to agree with my colleague, who have a weird notion of the Chinese being greedy and money minded and weddings are part of scam to make big bucks, it is this: We are too materialistic to the extent that taking time to buy those usual products for gift exchange has been abandoned in favour of money. It is true, money is the most convenient gift to give. But honestly, I find the cultural value would have been lost if we only emphasis on giving money. And the sad thing is, we are not being creative in how we give the money. Unlike the Malays, they at least spend time to make paper flowers using money.

Anyway, I didn't have much to bring because the main gift the groom's family usually provide is actually the cash dowry. The next best thing on the list (some may disagree) is the roasted pig. We asked for a small version which turns out to be quite big anyway. It was sourced from Kepong wet market and apparently, it is one of the best (I have to agree after we chopped it up later for lunch. It is good as the meat isn't too dry and the skin is so crunchy). As part of the Chinese custom, the groom side delivers the roasted pig as a sign of declaring the bride is a virgin.

Source: http://www.istockphoto.com/file_closeup/?id=1736537&refnum=462596

Honestly, I find nowadays virgins are overrated going by the popular norm. I guess to most feudal society, being a virgin is a sign of purity and innocence. Nowadays, many would laugh at those who choose to remain chaste until marriage. In fact, some people would want to practice as much as possible with various partners before marrying. Do any of you out there mind if your partner has prior and vast practical experience when it comes to sex with multiple partners? I know of men who mind a lot simply because they want something "pure" and "innocent", not tainted goods and yet they don't mind sleeping around to prove their prowess in bed. Talk about double standards right? Anyway, you can laugh all you like but I am hereby declaring I am still a virgin. Somehow, I feel odd making this declaration...:P

Clearing My Room on Monday Night

Tired!

I am very tired after cleaning out my room on Monday. It was 1 a.m. and my room was practically emptied (except for my clothes and such which I left in the in-built cabinet). But it took a toll on me as I have to wake up at 6.15 a.m. for work the next day. With lack of sleep, I proceeded to go to work and I was just hoping things will get by easily for the rest of week. Well sad to say, instead, I landed myself with extra urgent workload. Oh well...

My sentiments exactly...

Source: http://www.gascoals.net/

Anyway, because of the workload, I didn't manage to write my blog yesterday. There are interesting things on political front like some top Lassie attempted to promote its brand of hardwork and claimed others aren't on the ground like they do (I wonder what will he say to Lina Joy and Subashini when he meets them?). Well, Ms Theresa will disagree of course but that is not the main thing I want to talk about.

Instead, you might wonder why in the world did I clear my room on Monday night? Well, the thing is, I am swapping my room with my sister's. My room, being the smallest among the three rooms upstairs (quite typical given I am the youngest and least favoured), can't exactly fit the needs of two persons. So I asked my parents back when I announced to them I am getting married and staying put with them, whether I could do a room swap. My mom said ok and is supportive simply because she sees the practical aspect of my request while my dad, predictably, said this cannot do because of Feng Shui. Apparently, my zodiac do not permit me to place my bed on that side of the building least ill wills befall on me. Personally, I think he is using it as an excuse that the only reason why he said no is because that is my sister's room. I tried to talk to him further on this but he made it known that this is not up for negotiation.

My sister, despite our differences, has graciously agreed to this arrangement when I spoke to her later. It also made perfect sense because she will be marrying end of this year. She will move out to her new condominium and to her, her present room will be of little use to her. Well, when I told my dad she is agreeable, he said he wants to talk to her first (See! he doesn't even trust my word and it confirmed my suspicion on his hogwash Feng Shui argument/excuse). He finally agreed to let us do a room swap.

So zoom back to the present, I was bogged moving my things out on Monday night. But why Monday night? Because the next day the furniture man came with our pre-ordered furnitures. A new bed, a dressing table/cabinet, a small cabinet and a bookshelf while I slog through Tuesday trying to get my work done.

The hard part is now to rearrange my stuff while trying to finalise my wedding plans. I forgot to take a photo of my new furniture but then again, I can post it later when I finally re-arrange all my stuff. Hmm...