Thursday, 23 September 2010

Only good but not the bad?

Not too long ago, I was told by a friend that a mutual friend of ours was on long leave because her mom was sick. It turns out her mom was having breast cancer and she had to take care of her mom.

I immediately wrote to her via blackberry messenger to tell her I felt sorry to hear what happened to her mom. She did respond but when you read the replies, somehow, one can sense she was putting a brave front. So I told her that thinks will be ok since it was an early detection.

I told her that my mom had breast cancer not too long ago. I shared with her my mom's ordeals and how she is doing fine in remission stage. She began to open up and more responsive to what I wrote. She said she felt her life froze when she found out her mom was sick and she was worried if she could move on from there. On finding out there are other sufferers who had done well, she felt somewhat relieved. But what took her as a surprise was when I told her to trust me because I too am a sufferer. She was shocked. I related to her what I went through when I was 19.

After I finished, she said she then saw me in a new light and she said I was strong because I had no bitterness. I told her it is not unusual and I am just an ordinary sufferer like everyone else. I wonder why she spoke of bitterness and she mentioned she had seen other victims of cancer who survived physically but mentally scarred with bitterness and in me, she realised I had none!

I try to playdown the whole no bitterness issue but now that I reflect on it and as I read this interesting book, "How can a good God let bad things happen?" by Mark Tabb, I had a glimpse of what Job went through when when his wife told him to stop holding fast to his integrity and curse God and die!


I read Job's reply before on numerous occasions but the impression I had this time on what he said made me realised that what we see as evil and bad, may not necessarily be so.

"You speak as one of the follish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" Job 2:10

You see, whenever I see a doctor or dentist, they always ask me to open my mouth. However, whenever I open it, they said your mouth is not wide enough! I merely smile and told them that it is so but in actual fact, there is a reason for that. That is my "scar" that reminded me that while the cancer and the side effect of radiotherapy is real (where it killed my mouth muscles and after it recovered, I could no longer open it wide). That though I recovered from cancer, the impact is still present until today.

And God intended perhaps with this "scar" I can share with a friend and encourage her that what her mom went through is common and many survives more so those who detect early. As it helps her to move on, it is indeed worthwhile that I should just count my blessings and not do as what Job's wife told Job to do.

I do not deny life is hard. But it is a blessing that I can still write this after 12 years later and that my reflection of my past changes with new experiences intertwined with the past. For if a moment of familiarity and sharing can elevate the pain of others, is it really all bad?

I guess I really like the adage, "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger."


zewt said...

why God allows such things to happen is always a debate isnt it? just like how God allows evil to be in power, know what i mean. at the end of the day, it's about the relationship between each individual with God...

for me, it has been up and down. there were times where i will run and cling on to him, but the ungrateful me tends to move away when things are rosy...

everytime i run into some problems and trouble, i know it's God reminding me to turn my eyes to Him again.

100wui said...

Glad that you are stronger now and proud that you are helping others.

myop101 said...

@100wui, i was there at that time. if we can help, why not?