Monday, 11 August 2008

In search for a meaning...

John is just like any ordinary working guy who has been dredging through life by living the expectations of his family. As the only son, he is expected to support and care his parents as they grow old even as his sisters marry off to other families. It is a blessing to have 5 generations living under one roof and importantly, to have each generation living harmoniously with one another. In fact, John's granddad, Alfred, told him when he was younger that in China, there are streets named as "5 generation" street.

John however has a longing. Despite raised as under a strict Confucius regime, he has been searching for meaning of life ever since his first encounter with people of other faith. You see, John used to walk to his school everyday. He happened to pass by a mosque and was amazed to see people coming in unison, irrespective of creed or colour, praying at the appointed hour in a synchronised movement. He began to wonder why people do it because back in his home and his community, most only pray as a family unit and gather in the temples for the gods & ancestors birthday and even then, prayer was offered in a predictable rhytme but not with such synchrony as the Muslims.

Source: http://happylists.wordpress.com/2008/04/15/10-ways-to-cope-with-missing-a-funeral/

Whenever he has a chance to speak to the Muslims, he would do so. To him, he has to know why. Eventually, through discourse, he felt deeply in his heart that his longing for meaning of life has been found. He wanted to embrace Islam but not sure what to do. He approached his parents during dinner and when he shared his longing, he was soundly scolded and caned. His parents said this is all wrong. He as the only son is expected to carry out the ancestral worship. To his parents, having no one to mourn and carry the coffin and sending them off when they pass on is unthinkable. As a strict measure, John was prevented from ever walking by the mosque and his parents took pain to pick him up after school each day to indoctrinate him the values of their people.

Eventually John forgotten about his meaning of life, a sacrifice made to appease his parents and in keeping with his understanding of the need to be filial. That was of course, when John was only in Standard 5.

Fast forward to the present, where John is now 43 years old. In keeping with the filial piety virtue expounded by Confusius, he has been labourously cleaned the ancestral tablets and worship altars for years now since his father's passing. His mother is now a grand mother to his two children, Mark who is 8 and Jane who is 5, and he is happily married with Mary. There are only 3 generations under John's roof but it's ok, who is to know someday there will be five generation?

Anyway, despite what appears to be a good and filial son, deep in John's mind, he knows he now has a chance to reopen the long lost chapter of his life. His dad's passing a couple of years ago made him realised the frailty of life. He realises that as he mourned for his dad, there must be more to life that what the Taoist priests have potrayed during the funeral rites. He saw the pictures of the gods so lifeless, distant and unattached to him and he wonders, is this all the meaning of life?

One day, John decided to visit the old mosque where he was forbidden to go near to. He saw a few men sitting at the verandah and seemed to be in a deep discourse. He was intrigued. He called out and asked if he could join in. Ali, the man speaking at that time was surprised but he welcomed John to have a discussion with them. Eventually, Ali realises John's longing and soon expounded the faith to him. John was delighted and decided there and there to accept the new found faith. The men there was delighted as well. Alas, another has found the meaning to life.

However, being apprehensive of the repurcussion he might face, John decided to keep quiet about his conversion for now. He was worried as he had memories of how he was severely treated for merely sharing his interests to his parents. Like a baby elephant grew up to be a giant still tied to a 6-metre long iron wire, he has not been able to unshackle his fears. As he bid farewell to his brothers in faith, he proceeded to hop into the car and drive off. Little did he know that this farewell is the last farewell he will bid to any living being on earth.

You see, John was later involved in an accident. It was most unfortunate as a drunk driver in a broad daylight smashed his car into the John's car and in that freak accident killing both of them. John was merely following the traffic rules, the drunk driver was obviously... drunk.

Mary was devastated when she received the call. She broke down in tears on hearing that and she took her children to go to the hospital to identify his husband. When she arrived, she couldn't even recognise his face. All that is left for her to recognise is that ring he once wore on his left hand and the unmistakably scar mark he had on his upper right shoulder. "What will I do John? Why did you left us?" as Mary mournfully eek to her now deceased husband.

Later that day, Mary was in for a shock. It turns out that Mary can't claim her husband's body as he has apparently converted to Islam in that same day. And to make matters worse, she found out that the property bequeath by John's father to John , which the entire family currently resides in, is now owned by the State as he has no other Muslim heirs. From sadness, it is now disbelief and anger. "Are you kidding me?" as Mary screamed. Again, Mary broke down, as she looked up, she saw her children tearfully crying and looking at her, wondering, what happened to daddy...

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Provision till death?

For the past few days, I felt disturbed. In my line of work, character says a lot about a person's credibility and trustworthy. So when my colleague one fine day declares she is not going back to her hometown, she somewhat caught my attention.

Could it be the high petrol prices? Could it be the expensive toll? Could it just be she is too preoccupied with work that she can't visit her family?


Well, it turned out to be yes for the first two questions and no to the third. But there was more. She said unless her dad pays for the petrol and toll, she refuses to go home.

Source: http://www.theserviceguys.net/service.html

Sensing she was somewhat being ungrateful (her house and car monthly loan instalments are paid by her dad), I told her she should pay for it since she has little financial obligations. She said she can't afford it since she has lots of expenses. I am perplexed of course. For a single lady with at least 2K disposal income and not having to pay for rent and car instalments, what has she been doing with her money? I then asked does she provide allowances for her parents? She said emphatically with a no nonsense "no".

So in jest I told her she should just bear the cost since her mom and dad all this while sacrificed a lot to raise her and the least she can do is to visit them. In response to that, she said it is her parents duty to care for her. I told her she is 30 years old, she should care for her ageing parents.

To my shock, she said it is his dad's duty to take care of her instead. Shocked, I then asked,"Till when? Until he dies?" She said,"Yes, and you should not be surprised that this is a usual phenomenon. In fact, you should be prepared since your children will grow up to be like me."

Flabbergasted, I told her that if any of my children expects me to take care of them because it is their rights, I will disown them and publish a full page ad on every MSM and alternative media to state just that.

My other colleagues are equally as shocked to hear that and told her off. She said she felt a bit guilty hearing what we said but after she thought about it, she realised she is right and she even loudly proclaim to us that the truth will prevail and she is on the side of truth.

Source: http://www.dkimages.com/discover/Home/Animals/Invertebrates/Segmented-Worms/Leech/Leech-7.html

I told her that her dependency attitude is very bad for the kind of work we do. So as a "reward", I named her as leech. In fact, I further "rewarded" her by telling her that I will no longer offer her any solutions and it is her responsibility to find her solutions. She said, "As my manager, I hold you responsible for any of my work done poorly because of your refusal to guide me."

In her dictionary, guidance here include pointing out where to find the answers and how to write them based on the questions I raised.

I am not exactly the best son in town. I am sure there are many better filial sons out there than me. But what I can't stand is this "feed-me-because-it-is-my-right" mentality and having one sitting in front of me isn't exactly a very happy sight to see on daily basis.

If you are me, what would you do?

Sunday, 3 August 2008

Mom's 58th Birthday!

Tomorrow is my mom's 6th pre-chemotherapy treatment examination. If all goes well, she will undergo her 5th chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday. Can't wait for the day the doctor gives her a clean slate of health or at least just say, "you responded well to the treatment and there are no more signs of tumour".

Sometime during the week, we celebrated her 58th birthday. It was a quiet family affair started in a Japanese restaurant and we continued our celebration at home when we sang her a birthday song and presented her a cake (I think it is from Secret Recipe). She took more than a minute making a wish.


In some ways, I feel guilty. I realised I didn't do much for mom and with each passing years, there are lesser time left for us to be together. I am keeping track of a list of places I can bring mom to visit once she recovers...:)

I wonder, in today's stressful working environment, will we be satisfied with a big pay in return for late nights and commitments to work or a lower paying one in return for family time? I know not everyone is blessed with a reasonable pay with reasonable expectation. To all you lucky people out there, do appreciate your loved ones. You only get to live once.

Btw, if you use MRR2 on daily basis, you should take this opportunity to thank God for keeping you well and good. It is saddening to read how for the 3rd time, they found cracks on the Kepong flyover.