Of Abstinence & Reaping What We Sow

I called my friend recently to catch up on things since it has been awhile since we last talked. We used to be quite close and shared many common topics but as time went by, we sort of drifted apart as we went on with our own lives. I was taken aback when she told me something I least expected.

"I had a child," she said.

"A child? What? When were you pregnant? You should have told me about it." I replied.

"Oh no. I adopted a child."

Source: http://chrismiles.info/baby1.0/

Well, that is a very big step I must say. She is actually still single and living alone. In fact, I am not just taken aback, I felt disturbed. Isn't it usually difficult for someone who is single to adopt a child? So I pressed for more details. Apparently, the child is not adopted by her but by her brother and sister-in-law. What she only did was she donated money to that organisation.

"So in other words you didn't adopt right? You just paid the money. Afterall, you did say your sister-in-law will be taking care of that 1 week old child."

"No, no. I am the one adopting because I paid for it."

Well, to my dear friend, I explained to her that she technically didn't adopt a child since it is not registered under her name and I told her just a child is not a pet or property. It is another cognizant life in development. This is further strengthen by the fact that she is not even taking care of the baby (which she conveniently pass on to her sister-in-law). She is, to me, merely acting as a loving aunt happy to have a new nephew/niece. Well, she would have none of that. She is quite adamant when the child grows older, she will take care of that child and expects the child to address her as mom. Just that for now, her sister-in-law cares for that child since she is occupied with work and career.

I find it very noble of her to take an unwanted child into her care. The child certainly didn't ask to be born into this world. According to my friend, this particular organisation was set up to address the problem of unwanted pregnancies. Rather than letting women unprepared with pregnancies go round undergoing illegal abortions, this organisation encourages women with unwanted pregnancies to give birth and put their babies up for adoption.

Yup, she is very brave. Even as I am about to enter the next stage of my life, I am still unprepared to have children. As for my single friend, her child receives not just love from her, but also love, nurture and care from her brother and sister-in-law. I am quite sure even if my friend later on in somehow shirk from taking on this responsibility (which I strongly doubt it), her brother and sister-in-law are well prepared to take care of this child since they themselves have quite a number of kids.

I wonder at times why would people choose to abort unwanted pregnancies when in their wombs are lives of unborn people which develops very much on its own. Of course, I am not talking about those who were raped. I pity them and I only hope these people will not abort the child though if they choose to do so, I have little to say about it. But for those who decided to have a bit of indiscretion and added fun in their lives, isn't it quite inhumane of them to kill a gift of God when they reap what they sow? Have they considered that the unborn child didn't ask for all this to happen?

Some would admit it is their mistake but they don't want to go through the hassle of undergoing the whole 9 months process out of fear of hurting their pride/losing face when asked by family, friends or strangers, that the pregnant stands in the way of their career paths, or they are just not ready be it economically, physically or psychologically. To be frank, I don't buy these arguments. But I can't stop people from being selfish. They are afterall just not ready to share their lives with others especially the ones they should be responsible for.

If only they realise how many couples out there who wants to have a child and remain barren till this day. But this of course rings hallow for people who can't see pass their own noses.

I have another friend who realised she is pregnant in less than 3 months into her marriage when she planned not to have kids until her 3rd marriage anniversary because of her career plans. She has since happily given birth to a baby girl. She placed her career plans on hold and decided to put as much attention as possible into nurturing her child. To her, I say, "Bravo!"

My other friend has a good suggestion to those who don't want to throw away the baby with the water. Just use a condom is her motto.

I on the other hand prefer the old fashion route i.e. abstinence.

A Day Too Late

Well it is official. Dr Chua Soi Lek just tendered his resignation today. After managing to cause a mini ruckus, his latest decision was a relief laced with letdowns. Why the contradiction you might ask?

The thing is he apologised to everyone who is hurt and offended by his actions but he refused to step down (while failing splendidly in being unable to indicate an iota of intelligence on how important for a person in his shoes to be seen to lead and actually practice a lifestyle beyond moral reproach) and conveniently left the hard no-brainer decision to his party president and National Front Coalition president to decide on his fate.

On a side note, nevermind that the rakyat are upset with his lack of self-control but honestly, getting high by abusing one's position to gain power, position and wealth isn't exactly better. Yet, why do we still see people in power breaking rules yet living in palace like mansions surrounded by squatters and unaffected by public fury?

Anyway, his unrepentant action caused many people to feel very uneasy with him. Some questioned if he should even officiate any public opening ceremonies for fear of wrongful association by sight. Others went as far as saying they lost all respect for this man. So on the flip side I decided to be cheeky and asked one of them, "But what about Bill Clinton? He cheated too..."

It is interesting to hear my friend's reply. He said, that it is different as for Bil and Monica, it only involves oral action. In this case, the offending couple went all the way. I then asked how would that be so different since morally both men cheated on their wives. Afterall, I am quite sure at some point in their lives they would have said some vows along the line till death do us part.

Source: http://www.viewimages.com/Search.aspx?mid=668573&epmid=3&partner=Google

The interesting analogy I gotten was that the degree of adultery is akin to varying degree of damage inflicted to cars during an accident. If it is only a minor dent, most people wouldn't get too upset but if it is a major impact, lives could be lost. This according to my friend is why Bill's oral intercourse is not as offensive compared to full body workout!

I don't quite buy this argument of course because firstly, a car is inanimate and replaceable. Would we go to the extent to deem our spouse as dispensable as and when we want it? Also, accidents do happen on the road for many reasons such attempting to avoid ramming into a drug addict standing in the middle of the highway as he slowly makes his way to the other side but extramarital affairs are often rooted deeper like failure in communication and understanding. Yes, both cause damages yet one is obviously a deliberate act of betrayal, while the other could just be an error in estimation.

Anyway, in a twist of event, Dr Chua decided a day later to resign from his ministerial and party posts. Of all the the things he said, I find this the most cynical yet realistic thing he should have known right from the start and kicking himself silly now isn't exactly helping. He basically said, "I thought that by my admission, the people would forgive my weaknesses, but I thought wrong. This shows that honesty does not always pay, (but) it is up to the public to judge me.”

Now you know why I think it is more of a letdown? It sounds more like someone stepping down out of frustration with people who forgot to forgive and forget about his indiscretion. The funniest thing to hear was a comment from Dr Chua's supporter a.k.a. Labis MCA division Chief who said:

“We want the party and the authorities to investigate who is behind the distribution (of the DVD) as it is a dirty move for anyone to intrude into one’s personal life. If it can happen to Dr Chua, it can happen to everyone.”

Mr Tan, with all due respect, it will never happen to you if you don't do anything wrong like committing adultery, embezzling funds, murders or kidnapping. No doubt Dr Chua's wife and family have come out in the open in support of Dr Chua's career but honestly for someone who have not experienced wearing a green hat, please think twice before babbling like a rabid canine. He might be getting a bit too emotional but I can't help but wonder if Mr Tan here is trying to tell us something he did last summer which he fears may come back to haunt him.

Sit Bubu Sit! Good Dog!

I have a very cute dog at home. It is a golden retriever and it is just so cute. Every time when I drive home, the first thing the dog will do is to lie flat on his belly and show me a sad neglected face. Yup, he is a smart dog as he wants me to pat him.

My family dog when he is only a few months old. Isn't he cute?

The other thing he wants me to do is to play with him and importantly, feed him. Once in awhile, after I pat him, he would lung forward to "bite" my hand. Why? Because he thinks there is a treat hidden there. Anyway, I don't blame him for that. Too often I have tempted him with treats and made him do all sort of actions. Like commanding him to sit and raise his left "hand" and also to stand up. He has learned that by obeying commands, he gets treats. I often pat him and tell him he is a good dog for being obedient. However, whenever I refuse to treat him after I pat him and/or asked him to do tricks, he barks a lot. Which is why I have a cane ready. Not so much to hit him but to make a loud whipping sound which he is very afraid of.

It is hard to break his bad habits we have inevitably taught him and not sending him to dog school doesn't help much with his discipline either. I guess this dog will always be a "baggage" of sort because of our own weaknesses. Personally, I know my dad wants a dog because he expects a dog to guard the house. The bad thing is, he chose the most friendly dog in the neighbourhood. He barks a lot only because he must show he is doing his work. But do not be fooled! A stranger need not be afraid of him. Just go near him and let him smell your hands. Eventually, he will turn around and let you pat his tummy. Don't smile of course as the sign of your teeth is deemed as aggression in the doggie world. But a treat is all he needs to hasten his support for you.

Talking about dogs, I find it interesting to read uncanny resemblance between my family dog and Lassies here in Malaysia. Anyway, today we read the annual doggie treats the Government so happily dish out every few years or so, especially around election time. Yup, if you read this article, "A great start to 2008 for Chinese schools", the Lassies proudly proclaim the benevolence of the caring Government where a MCA Special Chinese School Fund is created and funded by the Government focusing on the development of Chinese primary schools' infrastructure, educational facilities, emergency funds and other needs. One must wonder how much is the Government contributing to this special fund? Well, so far RM6.02 mil has been distributed to 32 schools. This however, differs slightly from the Malaysiakini report which reported RM6.32 million distributed to 33 schools. It would seem from the same Star Online article that Pay Fong Middle School and Kolej Selatan may be primary schools since this fund is meant to focus on Chinese primary schools. Thank goodness Malaysiakini clarified that the monies are distributed to 33 primary and secondary Chinese schools. Perhaps, the Star needs to be clearer like Malaysiakini.

Anyway, if you work out the contribution per school, it would be about RM188K (per the Star) or RM192K (per Malaysiakini). Apparently, the remainder will get allocations in 2 weeks time. It is touching isn't it considering how much this Government cared for minority groups' education needs (I wonder if the Tamil schools will also get the same bonus)?

Ok, so the Star did say this is not an annual contribution. The first time the Government ever contributed is of course, in 2004 which is about the same time as the 11th general election. Well, since 2004 till now, which is roughly 3 or so years, the Government has contributed to this fund for the 2nd time! Nevermind if the election is rumoured to be around the corner, the Government has the mandate till April 2009. I am quite sure this benevolent Government only has the minorities' interests in their hearts and minds.

So assuming the Government have contributed about the same sum as last time, it would have been about an annual contribution of about RM63K / RM64K per year. Surely that count for something right? It is afterall quite a hefty sum. Assuming each school has about 100 students, that will be an annual bonus of RM630 / RM640 per head contribution on top of the RM174 million 9th Malaysia Plan for the Chinese schools. I am not sure of course how much is this RM174 million earmarked for how many schools but using the RM630 / RM640 per head contribution, it works out to be RM1.72 / RM1.75 per day per student.

Yup, we must thank this caring Government for their continuous support. It sure supplements their fun-raising efforts substantially, especially those independent ones, where self reliance has been their mottoes since their respective inceptions. Admittedly, quite a number are in dilapidating conditions. Remember the deceased Mr Chan Boon Heng who died after falling through rotting termite-infested floorboards at the SJK (C) Keat Hwa near Alor Setar in 2005? I wonder if the Lassies have any comments about how these schools manage the Chinese Schools allocations under 8th Malaysia Plan and the usage of the first ever special bonus given in 2004 from this caring Government? Best if they monitor these schools to ensure that this once every 3 to 5 years bonus will not be wasted. Afterall, release and forget auto-piloting technique isn't foolproof in ensuring the desired effects will eventuate.

Coming back to my family dog, I strongly believe in his eyes, we can never do him wrong. We are not just his masters but friends and family. The cane is meant to keep him in his place and he willingly obey. Sometimes he barks a lot but often it is because he wants affection and importantly, yummy treats. Is it too much to ask in this dog eat dog world? However, when the time comes, when the family dog can no longer function as he should, he may need to be put to sleep. We will be very sad but it is best to do it to ensure less suffering and pain. I personally don't want another pet dog. But my dad will have none of that. We will grieve for awhile and then my dad will look for another dog to take my family dog's place. That's what happened to Murphy the Crocker Spaniel, the previous family dog, who had incurable ears infections (We had taken him to numerous veterinarians and tried all sorts of medicine but he howls a lot due to pain and suffering). I wonder if Lassie suffers the same fate when he is old and sickly. I doubt Malaysia has a retirement home for sickly and old dogs that can rest in peace till natural death.

I for one would rather be put to sleep if I have to be a prolonged pain to my family. I wonder if Lassie feels the same. Hmmm...